Photo: Reuters file
Published on: Saturday, October 5, 2024, 6:00 a.m.
As the war in Gaza continues, many Palestinians in the UAE often grapple with an overwhelming emotional burden: survivor’s guilt.
Far from the violence and instability that continue to destroy their homeland, they find themselves torn between the comfort of a new life and knowing the pain of those left behind. The inner conflict between living in peace and knowing that loved ones are facing unimaginable horrors creates a deep psychological conflict that plagues many Palestinians abroad. .
Rita Zakua, a clinical psychologist at Nafshi Health, an online treatment platform, described the phenomenon as a form of deep emotional conflict. “We feel guilty for enjoying life, dreaming, even breathing. This heavy feeling weighing down on our hearts and minds is what we call survivor guilt,” Zakhour said. , the psychological state a person feels after surviving a particular event,” he added. This is what many of us felt and will continue to feel after October 7th (2023). โ
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She elaborated on how this guilt manifests. “For some, it whispers a haunting question: ‘Why was I spared? How can I continue to live normally while others die?’ Unfortunately , some are still in constant battle with their emotions, torn between being grateful for their lives and feeling guilt and pain for others.
According to Zakor, survivor’s guilt is not only experienced by people who have survived a traumatic event such as a war or an accident. It can also affect people who, although far from their direct impact, feel a strong sense of empathy for those who are suffering, especially if they have deep cultural or familial ties. For many Palestinians living in the United Arab Emirates, constant exposure to news from their homeland can increase feelings of guilt and struggle with their privilege and inability to help in more tangible ways.
live in two worlds
Reem, a Palestinian living in the United Arab Emirates, talks about her struggle to balance life in two worlds.
โEvery day feels like a battle between two worlds. Here in the UAE, I wake up in a comfortable bed, have a secure job, and have access to everything I need. or back to another place, namely Gaza,โ she told Khaleej Times. “The news, the phone calls, the WhatsApp messages, they all draw me into the reality my family is facing. It feels like I’m living two lives.”
She talks about the guilt that accompanies her every action. “How can I be here, living like this, while my loved ones are in constant fear and survival mode? I’m suffocating with guilt. I remember the day I left. I felt a mixture of relief and pain.My family told me to go, to take advantage of this opportunity for a better life, but deep down I felt like I was running away. โ
Duaa, also a Palestinian expatriate, shared a similar experience. โI feel like Iโm living in a bubble while the people I love the most are trapped in a never-ending nightmare. I wake up here in the UAE and there I’m at peace, but the moment I check my phone, my heart sinks. Every time I get a notification, I’m like, ‘Is it okay to go home?’
Dua described the constant weight of guilt she feels for not living safely. “My family never had a chance to leave the house. I did. And I carry that guilt every day. Sometimes I can’t even enjoy a simple meal. ‘How can I eat this when I’m here?’ ‘I wonder if the children in Gaza don’t have enough food, so my cousins โโare rationing it?’ โ
Leila, also a foreigner, struggles with a sense of entitlement. “Some days I look around and feel disgusted with myself. I’m here, living in peace and comfort, but my family wakes up every day to the sound of bombings. You’re lucky, aren’t you?” I was the one who escaped, but sometimes that good fortune feels like a curse. โ
“The pain is still the same”
For Palestinians in the UAE, coping mechanisms vary, but the pain remains constant. Reem has turned to therapy, but the healing process has been slow. “I’m seeing a therapist, which helps me process some of the emotions, but the guilt doesn’t go away. I’ve learned to compartmentalize. I can focus on work during the day, but at night… Then it becomes even more difficult.โ
Meanwhile, Leila devotes herself to advocacy, sharing news and raising awareness among the people of Gaza. However, I feel that these efforts are not enough. โWe write emails, share news, donate money, but sometimes it feels like itโs not enough.โ
Zakhor emphasized the importance of dealing with these emotions constructively. She suggests strategies such as recognizing your emotions, seeking support from family or therapists, and finding meaningful ways to help, such as volunteering or championing a cause. “To minimize the intergenerational effects of survivor’s guilt, it is critical that we heal ourselves as best we can. Let us replace collective survivor’s guilt with collective hope. “Hope never disappears,” she said.
For Palestinians in the UAE, the struggle with survivor’s guilt continues. Despite being miles away from the conflict, the emotional scars remain and many are torn between a world of safety and a world of suffering.
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