I’ve been a middle school English teacher since my son was 5. Many of my students come to me reluctant to read or write, but I spend the year with them trying to show them that maybe they just haven’t found the right book yet. I truly believe there is a story out there for everyone.
As a teacher, I am successful 80% of the time in generating genuine interest in reading. As a mother, I always knew my son would love reading as much as I did because he grew up watching me read every day and reading to him every night. But he is now in fifth grade and has proven to be the most stubborn “student” of my students. Still, some of the things I’ve tried to get him interested in reading seem to be working.
I decided to stop forcing him to read.
A few years ago, I accepted that it was best to stop forcing my son to read. At times, I felt like a fraud, like I knew all the tips and tricks for raising a young reader. But my experience as a teacher reminded me of two things: Not every student will get it, and sometimes it’s best to let them take a break.
I didn’t give up
Although I stopped forcing books on him, I didn’t stop giving him the opportunity to choose what to read for himself. I would take him to the library every week to look for books on subjects he was interested in. For example, if he was interested in snakes that week, I would ask the librarian to bring over all the books on snakes.
Sometimes it was hard to connect my son’s interests with a book, like soccer or muscle cars, so I went to the adult section and found coffee table books with informative text next to pictures.
I continued to mimic the behavior I wanted to see from him.
I am an avid reader, so my son grew up watching me read on lazy Sunday mornings and every night before bed. He sometimes asks me what books I am reading and why I like to read. Sometimes he seems interested in the stories I am reading and gives me a thoughtful look when I tell him I like reading about other people’s experiences.
I think a big part of the reason I grew up as a reader is because I saw my aunt and uncle reading all the time and I would ask them the same questions. For a long time I didn’t like reading, but I asked my aunt to help me find a book I liked, and she found it and that was it. I fell in love with books and loved to sit and read with them, like I’d joined a club.
I always tell parents to read books with their children.
I’ve found that many parents don’t realize that reading to their children is just as beneficial as children reading on their own: When you read to your child, they’re experiencing the story, being exposed to new vocabulary, and hearing you read.
I always read to my son every night, and even when I get frustrated because he doesn’t want to read on his own, I take solace in the fact that he looks forward to it every night, helping me realize that maybe the talent for reading is there in him, but it just hasn’t surfaced yet.
I often go to second-hand bookstores and buy books that I think he will like.
Used bookstores and library second-hand book fairs are great places to buy books for next to nothing. They’re so cheap that I don’t feel bad about picking up a book here and there to put on a shelf in my son’s room. If he finds it on his own, that’s great, and if not, at least I tried and I’m not losing a ton of money. And the same goes for the books I end up reading to him at bedtime.
Providing these opportunities has been successful
During the summer holidays, my son stumbled across the movie “Wonder” and loved it. So when we went to a local book sale, I found the book the movie was based on and bought it. To my surprise, he read the entire book on his own. I tried my best not to overreact and ruin the miracle that was happening right before my eyes. It felt like my relentless efforts to help my son discover reading on his own were finally paying off.
I know the many benefits that reading and writing have brought to my life, and I want my son to experience that for himself. So, when I struggled with my son’s lack of motivation to read on his own, I let him. I didn’t force him, but simply put him in different situations where his interest in books would peak or he would decide to read if he wanted to. I know that in the end, he has to make the choice for himself.