Carney’s comment
It’s Twitter Tuesday time – finding the best of the best on Twitter.
This man said, “When I leave a voicemail, I say my number twice, as if people can’t see my number, because I’m from the early 90s.” .
I like the line, “I was planning on making crocodile for dinner, but then I realized I only had crocodile pot.”
This funny girl I follow said, “There’s no point in arguing with me. I knew I was wrong 10 minutes ago. I’m trying to piss you off now.” That’s all.
“My dentist told me my teeth were crooked and asked me if I wanted to smoke or drink coffee, and I said yes,” one man tweeted.
This mom said, “Meal planning? That doesn’t work. I have teenagers and they’ve already eaten this week’s groceries that I brought home yesterday.”
You might think, “I guess my bad luck is because I don’t have enough friends to forward chain emails to.”
The question is, “Do you think all my single socks should be registered on match.com?”
And another from a voluptuous friend who tweeted: “I’m a grown man so I can eat whatever I want whenever I want. I wish someone would take this power away from me.” are.